“24 Hours To Take Off”
“Life is either a great adventure or nothing at all.” I keep saying the phrase over and over to myself, twirling it around my mouth like it’s a candy pop and I’m waiting for the gooey bit on the inside to burst and a flood of sweet wonder to engulf my mouth.
But it just doesn’t.
So I replace it with the word Canada. Which is where we will be in less than 24 hours. Or rather, where our tickets say we will be in less than 24 hours. But that doesn’t work either. The gooey bit just won’t pop.
It’s past eleven at night. The hubbub of the neighbourhood has died town and the birds, who had been warbling all day have long set their alarms and gone to bed. But I can’t do the same. I don’t want to. My nerves are all jittery and regardless of how deep I breathe in, I can’t calm them down.
But it’s not just nerves that I’m feeling. It’s not fear either. It is something else too; restlessness
A sense of wanting to get it over and done with. I’m a little petrified. And a little incredulous. But I would rather be petrified and incredulous in Canada than here in Berlin. The most agonizing part right now is not being to face whatever awaits us in Canada, head on.
But there is not much I can do about that. So I’ll just finish up typing this sentence and then I’ll turn off the lights and go to bed, hoping that by the time I wake up, the gooey bit will have popped and Canada will seem real.